18 Tips to have an amazing sex life after you hit 40 years

With increasing age, you may find that you experience a lower sex drive than you are used to, which can be distressing. After the age of 45, a natural fall in testosterone levels can lead to a loss of libido and an increase in the time needed to achieve an erection.

Since sex drive and physical health can vary hugely from person to person, there’s no specific age at which most men give up on sex. However, research suggests that most men stop engaging in sexual activity on a regular basis around 75 to 85 years.

However, focusing on sexual performance can lead to anxiety.  A set of simple lifestyle changes that can help:

  1. Reducing anxiety through breathing exercise: Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose. Keep your shoulders relaxed. Exhale slowly through your mouth. As you blow air out, purse your lips slightly but keep your jaw relaxed. Repeat this breathing exercise. Do it for several minutes until you start to feel better. Sexual performance anxiety isn’t diagnosed as often in women as it is in men, but it can affect arousal in women, too. Anxiety can prevent women from getting lubricated enough to have sex, and it can take away the physical desire to make love. Anxiety can take you out of the right mind-set for sex.
  2. Improve erectile dysfunction: If you smoke, quit. If you have trouble quitting, get help. Lose excess pounds. Being overweight can cause — or worsen — erectile dysfunction. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Get treatment for alcohol or drug problems.
  3. Enhance relationships with sexual partners. Find the right time to talk about the sex life. Preferably make time away from the bedroom, at a time when neither of you is rushed.  During the talk avoid criticism. Confide in your partner about your needs and changes in your body and mind.
  4. Increase stamina. I have written about stamina in my previous blog. There are many possible causes for low stamina, which include Stress, Depression, and low self-confidence leading to poor sexual stamina. Correct diet and exercise can play a big role in improving sexual performance sexually.
  5. Consider medication. Sildenafil (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra, Staxyn), tadalafil (Cialis), and avanafil (Stendra) are oral medications that reverse erectile dysfunction by enhancing the effects of nitric oxide.
  6. Watch your waistline. Eating a healthy, varied diet that is high in fruits and vegetables — including soluble fiber, vitamin D, and probiotics — is the best plan for losing weight from your waistline. Avoiding refined carbohydrates, sugar, and processed foods whenever possible will help you cut calories and get rid of fat more quickly.
  7. Get your heart checked. Chest pain, chest tightness, chest pressure, and chest discomfort (angina). Shortness of breath. Pain, numbness, weakness, or coldness in your legs or arms. Is the sign of probable heart problems which can cause sexual problems. So checking heart is very important.
  8. Don’t assume it’s low testosterone. Low sex drive can be due to low testosterone. But it is not the primary cause of sexual problems in men.
  9. Talk to your partner if your sex drives are mismatched.
  10. Quit any bad habits. Being disorganized, being too sedentary. Engaging in negative self-talk and too much indulgence.
  11. Manage stress. I already have written extensively in this topic and in modern world stress is the top cause of illness including sexual dysfunction. Best way to de-stress in this fast and connected world is cultivating a hobby, engaging in sports and walk in nature. 
  12. Get more sleep.  As you start to age the sleep becomes a top priority. If you wake up early you can work and in day you can take nap. Good deep sleep is the best de-stressor and medicine of all ailments.
  13. Don’t forget about kissing and cuddling
  14. Share household duties. Easing family stress, resulting in fewer arguments at home. Giving couples more time for activities that both enjoy. Breaking away from gender stereotypes. ( men go to work, and women stay home to watch over the kids and manage household chores)
  15. Go on vacation. Vacations relieve stress – One of the main reasons why vacations are important is the fact that they significantly ease stress. … Vacations increase productivity – Proven data shows that vacations increase productivity. Happy, stressless, and energetic employees almost always produce a better product.
  16. Passion and compassion. Some new parents compare sex to a battlefield. Passion in a relationship contributes to greater fulfillment – both in and out of the bedroom – as well as happiness and well-being. It can even predict relationship success. Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.
  17. Cultivate time alone. People who learn to find comfort in solitude tend to be happier, experience lower levels of stress and are less likely to have depression.
  18.  Appreciation can support the mental health of others by making them feel like they matter. Showing gratitude to someone can also increase the dopamine in their brain, improving blood flow and helping their physical health and wellness.

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