How to start a conversation

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What makes conversation difficult?

Some conversations often include emotions such as fear, anger, frustration, conflict, and strong dividing emotions. Often negative emotions are kept inside for long and can run high on both sides leading to a difficult conversation.

Most people fear difficult conversations because they’re not only uncomfortable but unpredictable too. Difficult talks can sometime lead to unwanted issues later. However, if you dread talking for at least 6 months or more and negative feeling is making it hard for you to do everyday tasks. You may have a social anxiety disorder. In social anxiety disorder, you may have a symptom of severe long-term fear of being judged by others for no reason.

Why starting a conversation is important?

While making a conversation often starts by focusing on small, trivial things, research has found that having more deep conversations is linked to greater happiness and well-being. Learning how to start a conversation can help you with social connections and happiness.

What are the benefits of conversation?

  • You are better understood.
  • You become more understanding.
  • You gain self-confidence.
  • Workplace value.
  • You begin caring self.
  • Your relationships flourishes.
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How to become good at starting a conversation.

  1. Ask for information. It’s a real tough skill to learn how to ask others what they really want occasionally, because the more you ask good questions, the more you know the answers. Asking the right questions helps you better understand other people and makes it easier to communicate. 
  2. Pay a compliment. Always be authentic while paying compliment and don’t overdo it. If you’re constantly voicing compliment after compliment, it will quickly losse the impact. Complimenting is a great way to foster a reputation great starter for conversation as long as you do it right. Remember to compliments sincerely and then start your communication in right tone.
  3. Comment on something pleasant. Giving someone a good compliment can make their day and boost their confidence. You can pick something about the person you like and comment on it. This can be a great conversation starter since you are commenting on something about them like nice hairs,car or pet. 
  4. Introduce yourself. While this may not be suitable for every situation, it is a straightforward way of showing you are interested in meeting someone. If you just joined a health club and have not met someone, you can approach someone there and introduce yourself. May be you guys can be gym buddies or talk about other health stuffs. 
  5. Offer help. Don’t wait to be told to offer help. Well-intentioned help means you say, “If you need anything, let me know.”  Be patient. Offer more than once for help so that person knows it’s genuine help. Since the person in need has a lot on their mind. There’s no harm in making offers again and again. And  sometimes, it’s okay to just jump in and do, as kindness does’nt need a formal green light. These work of kindness does’nt go unnoticed and are great conversation starters. 
  6. Ask for help. Asking a help is a nice way to start a conversation. Doing this gives you a reason to engage the other person. When using this approach, start with something simple that can be done easily. Asking for help even when you need it genuinely can be useful since it not only accomplish the task but also you get to know the person with whom you intend to take help.
  7. Talking about shared experience. A shared experience is any experience that connects with you to other person. The shared experiences forms the basis for the formation of culture, profession, institution, team, etc. A shared experiences have a deep impact on human socialization so it’s great way to initiate talk. You can start by constructing a purposeful stories around the genuine shared experience to enhance the shared experience and making it a way to start your conversation.  
  8. Asking for opinion. You can ask opinion about anything like a problem, idea, behaviour, subject matter etc.  This is a great way to start conversation since you will be asking about the opinion which the other person is interested to answer. If you happen to know about the subject then it can be a great way to strike the conversation. 
  9. Understand that you’re in this together. The other person to whom you want to strike conversation is similar to you. So initiating to talk is in best interest since without a start both of you will not know each other. Even if you know each other without deep talking relation won’t move further. So either you or the other person has to initiate. 
  10. Notice something nice. If you notice something nice in other person it’s important to make it aware to other person that you noticed it. Saying pleasing thing about it can be useful starter for conversation. 
  11. Pay a compliment. Choose unique words to compliment. You may use different language too which can customize your compliments. This can be a real conversation starter. If you receive a compliment then politely saying thank you or I appreciate you os great way to strike the conversation. 
  12. Look for common ground. Common grounds means opinions or interests shared by you and the other person. Make other person valued by carefully listening and observing. You also need to be honest while finding common grounds. Once you find common grounds you can not only strike conversation but also take it to the next level. 

Conclusion. You need to be brave to start the conversation that matters. Since most people are afraid of starting it. Knowing another person through conversation can take you to the next level of relationship, be it business or personal. Starting the conversation is the first step towards self-confidence and success. 

By John Gurung

A former software developer who is now a blogging enthusiast. A true digital nomad.

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